Humor from the languages of the world
An evangelical minister/ vicar complains to an older colleague about the bat infestation in his church. He has tried everything [in order] to drive them out; now [there] remains only exorcism. His colleague replies: “I baptized and confirmed mine – after that, none [of them have] ever come back again.” Ein evangelischer Pfarrer beklagt sich […]
A police officer stops a driver [and] asks: “You’re weaving as you drive. Would you agree [to take] an alcohol test?” The driver [replies]: “Bring it on – what have you got?” Polizist hält einen Autofahrer an. Er fragt: “ Sie sind Schlangenlinien gefahren. Wän Sie mit einem Alkhoholtest einverstanden?” Autofahrer: “Kommt drauf an. Was
[Officer] Edgar makes the [following] radio broadcast/ call: “Car 12 to Central: we have a murder on Kettiger Street – a woman shot her husband because he ran across a freshly-washed floor.” Central: “Have you arrested the suspect?” Edgar: “No. The floor isn’t dry yet.” [Polizist] Edgar gibt einen Funkspruch durch: “Wagen 12 an Zentrale.
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Optician: You need glasses. Man: How do you know? Optician: I knew as soon as you walked in through the window. Oftalmologul: Aveţi nevoie de ochelari. Bărbatul: Cum v-aţi dat seama? Oftalmologul: Am ştiut asta din clipa în care aţi intrat aici pe fereastră. Source Taylor, Jeremy. Carte de Glume Versiune Bilingua: Lb. Engleza –
“Waiter, do you have frogs’ legs?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, [hop] over there and get me a bottle of wine.” Chelner, ai picioare de broască? Da, domnule. Atunci ţopăie încoace şi adu-mi o sticiă de vin. Topics: Wait staff; customers; restaurants/ menus Source Taylor, Jeremy. Carte de Glume Versiune Bilingua: Lb. Engleza – Lb. Romana 1.
Teacher: Where does God live? Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom. Teacher: Why do you say that? Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, ‘God, are you still in there?’ Profesorul: Unde locuieşte Dumnezeu? Băieţelul: Cred că Dumnezeu este la noi în baie. Profesorul: De ce
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Timo hears on his car radio: “Please use caution on the A1. Keep right here; a car [could] possibly come toward you.” Nonplussed/ Perplexed, Timo [says]: “What do they mean, ‘a car’? There’s a hundred of them!” Timo hört in seinem Autoradio: “Bitte Vorsicht auf der A1. Hier bitte rechts fahren, es kommt Ihnen eventuell
A Czech comes to Felix in his [optometry] office for an eye exam. Felix holds [a card containing] the sequence of letters “T Z C W O X E V I C” before/ in front of his face and asks, “Can you read this?” The Czech [replies]: “Not only can I read it, I understand
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If you want to ruin your day, just look in the mirror. Willst Du Dir den Tag versauen, musst Du in den Spiegel schauen. Lund, Erik. “10 German Jokes that are Actually Funny.” LifeHack, www.lifehack.org/350656/10-german-jokes-that-are-actually-funny. Accessed 27 Feb. 2024
