婚姻 Hūn-yīn (Marriage)
Listen to the Poem in Chinese
Marriage — Read by Professor Shanshan Li, Luoyang Normal University
Listen to the Poem in English
Marriage – Read by Jill Robbins
Yu Xiuhua – Original Text (2015)
我为什么会有一个柿子, 我为什么会有一个柿子
wǒ wèishénme huì yǒu yīge shìzi, wǒ wèishénme huì yǒu yīge shìzi
多少年, 一个人在沼泽里拔河
duōshǎo nián, yīge rén zài zhǎozé lǐ báhé
向北的窗玻璃破了, 一个人把北风捂在心头
xiàng běi de chuāng bōlí pò le, yīge rén bǎ běifēng wǔ zài xīntóu
“在这人世间你有什么, 你说话不清楚, 走路不稳
“zài zhè rénshìjiān nǐ yǒu shénme, nǐ shuōhuà bù qīngchǔ, zǒulù bù wěn
你这狗屁不是的女人凭什么
nǐ zhè gǒupì bù shì de nǚrén píng shénme
凭什么不在我面前低声下气”
píng shénme bù zài wǒ miànqián dīshēng bù qì”
妈妈,你从来没有告诉我, 为什么我有一个柿子
māma, nǐ cónglái méiyǒu gàosù wǒ, wèishénme wǒ yǒu yīge shìzi
小时候吃了柿子, 过敏, 差点死去
xiǎoshíhòu chīle shìzi, guòmǐn, chàdiǎn sǐqù
我多么喜欢孤独, 喜欢黄昏的时候一个人在河边
wǒ duōme xǐhuān gūdú, xǐhuān huánghūn de shíhòu yīge rén zài hébiān
洗去身上的伤痕
xǐ qù shēn shàng de shānghén
这辈子做不到的事情, 我要写在墓志铭上—-让我离开, 给我自由
zhè bèizi zuò bù dào de shìqíng, wǒ yāo xiě zài mùzhìmíng shàng—-ràng wǒ líkāi, gěi wǒ zìyóu
English Translation by Elise Huerta and Hangping Xu
why do I have a persimmon, why do I have a persimmon
how many years, fighting tug-of-war in a swamp alone
the north-facing windows shattered, I cloak the northerly wind in my heart alone
“what the hell are you: you stutterer, you cripple,
you worthless woman, what gives you the right
what gives you the right not to cower before me”
mom, you never told me, why do I have a persimmon
when I was little I ate a persimmon, was allergic, almost died
how I love solitude, love washing the scars off my body
by the river at twilight alone
the things I cannot do in this life, I’ll carve them on my tombstone—let me leave, give me freedom
Author Notes
A contemporary Chinese poet, Yu Xiuhua was born in 1976 in the small village of Hengdian in Hubei Province. Her major break as a poet came in 2014 when she became well known across China for her poem “Crossing Half of China to Sleep With You,” which she shared online. Common themes across her poetry include love, sexuality, and disability, as her cerebral palsy causes her to struggle with speech and mobility.
In 2017, she was the subject of a documentary called Still Tomorrow, directed by Fan Jian, documenting her daily life, with a particular focus on her efforts to get a divorce from her husband, as well as her reflections and thoughts on her quick rise to fame. Despite love being such a prevalent theme in her poetry, she herself reflects on it as a subject she does not truly understand, and she speaks frankly on her senses of self-worth, family, and her disability.
Sources
Xiuhua, Yu. “Twelve Poems.” Chinese Literature Today, vol. 7, no. 2, 2018, pp. 6-17. Translated by Elise Huerta and Hanping Xu.
Still Tomorrow. Directed by Fan Jian. Liaoning Radio and Television, 2017.