Finnish people eagerly await giving up the mandatory social distancing guidelines So they can return from the government mandated 2 meters of distance to the normal 5 meters. Suomalaiset odottavat innolla luopumista pakollisista sosiaalisen etäisyyden ohjeista Joten he voivat palata hallitukselta 2 metrin etäisyydeltä normaaliin 5 metriin. Source “Finnish Jokes.” Upjoke, www.upjoke.com/finnish-jokes. Accessed 11 May 2024.
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Folk Omen: The Closer to Morning, the More Comfortable the Pillow Народна прикмета: Чим ближче ранок, тим зручніше подушка. Joke and translation courtesy of Viktoria Davydovska
Most of all, I’m afraid of dentists and darkness. – And what about darkness – Oh, who knows how many dentists are lurking in that darkness! – Більш за все боюся стоматологів та темряви. – А темряви та чого? – А хрін його знає, скільки в цій темряві стоматологів! Etho Cbit. “Funny Jokes in Ukrainian” Etho Cbit, https://etnosvit.com/uk/anekdoty_uk.html.
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– “Good day, buddy, what are you drinking?” – “Ukrainian mojito.” – “Rum and mint?” – “No, moonshine and parsley.” — Добрий день, куме, що п’єте? — Українське мохіто. — Ром та м’ята? — Та ні, самогонка і петрушка. Source
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– “Father, I want to confess.” – “Do you drink?” – “I do. But can you confess to me first?” – Отче, я хочу посповідатися. – П’єте? – П’ю. Але може спочатку посповідаєте мене? Source
There are people who carry happiness within them. When these people are around, everything seems bright and colorful. But my wife calls them alcoholics! Є люди, які несуть в собі щастя. Коли ці люди поруч, все ніби стає яскравим і барвистим. Але моя дружина їх називає алкашами! Source
Context: archaeological research shows that Ukrainians have been consuming salo (pork fat) since ancient times. Back then, this dish had symbolic significance: the boar represented strength, courage, and bravery. Later, salo was highly valued for its long shelf life, the ability to stock up on food for the future, and its nutritional value. “Rabbit Salo.”
[While driving,] Hank picks up a hitch-hiker. After a kilometer, [the hitch-hiker] asks him: This is really nice [of you], but it’s also dangerous. What if I were a murderer?” Hank turns slowly toward his new traveling companion [and says]: “Statistically speaking, it’s more than unlikely that two murderers would be sitting in the same
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A police officer stops a driver [and] asks: “You’re weaving as you drive. Would you agree [to take] an alcohol test?” The driver [replies]: “Bring it on – what have you got?” Polizist hält einen Autofahrer an. Er fragt: “ Sie sind Schlangenlinien gefahren. Wän Sie mit einem Alkhoholtest einverstanden?” Autofahrer: “Kommt drauf an. Was
[Officer] Edgar makes the [following] radio broadcast/ call: “Car 12 to Central: we have a murder on Kettiger Street – a woman shot her husband because he ran across a freshly-washed floor.” Central: “Have you arrested the suspect?” Edgar: “No. The floor isn’t dry yet.” [Polizist] Edgar gibt einen Funkspruch durch: “Wagen 12 an Zentrale.
